Maria O'Connell
"Once you hand them your strings, they become the narrator of your life."
Table of Contents For Those Without Attention Span
Age: 29
Gender: ♀
Nameday: Fifth Umbral Moon (Nald'thal) of the 32nd Sun (All Saint's Wake)
Family:
Sister
Mother (deceased)
Step Mother (deceased)
Step Mother #2 (MIA)
Marital Status: Single
Hair: Reddish-orange
Eyes: Hazel/Yellowish
Complexion: Light tone
Height: 5'5
Sexual Orientation: ???
Build: Slim
Common Accessories: Red ribbon hair accessory, often wears a masquerade mask to conceal her eyes, loves to wear ties or bows, often seen bouncing along on a bouncer toy, accompanied with a puppet familiar often.
Maria was born into a family of four, born in the northern most region Tural. Being one of two, Maria is the "eldest" of her twin, having been conceived before her sister Ave by forty-seven seconds. Being the eldest by forty-seven seconds, she had once taken the mantle of "big sister", even though Ave shared the same age as Maria; but that wouldn't deter her from being over protective of her "younger" sister. But, with time comes changes and eventually the parting of ways...
The twins grew up in a confusing environment and a strict one. Their once Hyuran mother having passed away in their conception and the only mother they knew growing up was a Viera their father had remarried years later whom they would refer to as mother. Just like their father before them and his mother and father before him, Ave and Maria were forced into a life of performers from the young age of five, always under pressure by their father. And with that pressure came mistakes and those mistakes, punishment.
Their father ruled with an iron fist in their household, although he appeared to be easy going on the outside and the charismatic sort others seemed to vouch for him; behind the scenes in his private life, he constantly forced his twins to a life they did not choose. One mistake would result in being scolded and taught a lesson by the harsh leather of his belt and metal of the belt's buckle. Despite undergoing so much physical abuse and verbal abuse by their father, Ave and Maria still loved him, as they knew he too loved them and this was his way of disciplining their out line behaviors and their mistakes.
Ave and Maria's stepmother suffered from a terminal illness, having an enlarged heart, she was a ticking time bomb before her time would come to an abrupt end. Their stepmother served as a pillar of support and a protector against their father when he went overboard or crossed a line in his scolding and discipline actions.
After hiding away from her father for many years, Maria has finally decided to step away from Tural and venture out into the greater, wider world of Hydalyn and all she has to offer. After hearing rumors of her father being in Eorzea, she has gone out to search for him, to finally confront him. Hearing rumors of her father being involved in criminal activity, she wishes to try and sway him back the other way and come back home once and for all. But, Eorzea is a big place and she is still very much new, getting to meet the people, the culture and everything else in between, it will be a long road ahead for her until she finally finds what she is looking for in a foreign and strange land...
Aether Sensitivity: Being born into a family of performers, the twins are skilled in aether manipulation and as a result, has developed and evolve to the point where they can feel someone's aether whirring in the atmosphere around them. Good? Bad? Neutral? Pure? Corrupted? Tainted? They can feel a variety of aether, but often they keep it to themselves unless there is something truly of note worthy for them to open their mouths to say something about it...
Blue Circus Performers?: Hailing from Tural, where Blue Magicks is known to originate from, they were naturally once former performers to the Blue Circus of Tural, traveling from the Northern regions of Tural, to the Central and Southern regions, sharing their talent with the Far Western world. Maria finds herself lost in thought, sometimes 'rehearsing' to herself a typical routine she is most familiar with. Some people may find her quirky or strange, she does tend to have certain tics about her that trigger under certain circumstances or words like clockwork. She knows her strangeness is unusual in the land of Eorzea, but she is trying her best to fit in with the rest of the world after living in isolation and forced into a life of circus and theatrics for so long.
Unusual form of combat, but perhaps a unique one to some eyes of the people of Eorzea...?: Just like her father before her, Maria specializes in manipulating her aether to attach aether string-like tethers to a marionette of some sort, or even a person if necessary. She forces her aether to a very 'thin' stage where it is almost undetectable, but it takes a lot out of her, as it is akin to pulling a chocobo wagon or something heavy with a fishing reel string. Nevertheless, she does her best to perform or even fight at her most hardest when puppeteering. Aside manipulating the subject she is controlling via her aether, she is able to channel her aether through a puppet's body, enabling her to utilize her own magicks via her puppet proxy, in order to keep a safe distance from conflict as best as possible. Being a Puppeteer, she is a mid to long range combatant, but struggles at close quarters combat as she loses focus and causes her aether to detach from her marionette subject.
The New NEW World...: Although she is from Tural, she does not hail from the well known Central and Southern regions of Tural, she was born and raised in the Northern region of Tural. A place yet unexplored by many in Eorzea. But,, she is familiar with the rest of Tural as well after traveling around the Tural over the years during her time with the Blue Circus.
Having a conversation with Me, Myself and I...?: Ave and Maria grew up quite isolated from the rest of the world during their childhood years, only allowed to go out when it was time to travel with the Blue Circus. As a result, both Ave and Maria grew up to be very lonely twins, only having each other as social interactive experiences. Maria may lash out, or she may not answer or hesitate to answer when being spoken to. But, do not take offense, as it is not you, it is simply her and she needs time to adjust and gain momentum with someone she is interacting with. She does not have any friends beside her own sister.
♪ It's okay, it's all right
To play the fool has always been my plight
In this tiny circus show, I'm the nameless pierrette ♪
♪ As I try to balance in the center
Of a ball as round and shiny as the moon ♪
♪ It's my job to trip and fall for laughter
But I always get back up and smile like a buffoon... ♪
♪ But, then I saw you crying there out in the audience!
Put on a happy face, you look much better when you smile!
Your Mom and Dad don't seem to notice
The tears streaming down your cheek, but I did!
Don't worry, 'cus I will wipe them away ♪
♪ It's okay! It's all right!
It doesn't hurt, I do it all the time!
You should laugh, I want you to!
This is what I do!
It's all right, it's okay!
I balance on a ball and fall away
In this tiny circus show, I'm the clumsy pierrette ♪
♪ You continued weeping and remarked,
"I know you're lying and it really makes me sad..."
'I promise that I never told a single lie!' I said, but you only started crying once again... ♪
♪ "Show me what you're hiding there
Beneath the painted mask,
The face that you never show the audience, that's all I ask!
The pain that you feel when you are beaten
And tears that you cry when no one's looking
Don't be ashamed, because we all feel the same..." ♪
♪ "It's okay, it's all right
Don't worry, you don't have to fake a smile
I just want you to be true
Just be true to you" ♪
♪ "It's all right, it's okay
It doesn't matter what they have to say
You won't face it all alone I will cry with you" ♪
♪ It's okay, it's all right
Help me find what disappeared inside
It's the face I lost to time, the one that's truly my own ♪
♪ It's all right, it's okay
Those words are like a magic spell
And the lying pierrette that I was has gone away
Gone away...
Gone away...
Gone away...
Gone away... ♪
Maria's Poem
"The moon dips down and the world forever casted in this lake of darkness.
No place of shining light to guide me through the treacherous maze of death, sadness, sorrow and pain.In this life,
I stand all alone,
Only imagining to have a light,
I'll watch the devistation I have wrought,
Watch all of the people suffer in agony just like mine,
I would take their pain.The sun forgot to take its reign and the moon weeps, starts its twinkling tears.
Perhaps I wasn't meant to simply be here at all.
The way I cause destruction where I stand...I must only be no more than a burden.
This realm of eternal night takes hold of this twisted, tainted soul of mine.Please forgive me--
For what I have done and what is only on my path.
I'm sorry I'm here,I'm sorry I was born"
"The only real hell that exists in this life... is in your head. I always used to think that if I did something bad, I would go to hell. Just as daddy told me. Naughty girls who do not obey their parents will suffer the eternal fires of hell for all time to come... At least, that is what /he/ told me me and sissy.We were always daddy's obedient girls..."
"...Maybe we weren't always the most obedient to papa. He got so angry. So furious with us. I remember the stinging pain of the leather belt and the metallic buckle leaving bruises on our little bum-bums. No matter how much we begged. How much we cried. It was as if he did not hear us and the whipping of the belt continued to make contact with our bare skin. Daddy taught us to be good girls every time we misbehaved or disobeyed and messed things up. We were trying to be good girls, for him.Daddy would always say that smiling makes everyone look beautiful. He told us to smile. Even though I couldn't really smile, I tried my best..."
"I couldn't always smile, because I was sad. And I couldn't always express how sad I was or I would be punished by papa. I didn't know what to do. But, papa would always have the right answers. He would say, 'naughty girls who do not smile brilliantly, will be locked away and not be given yummy food...' Well, he kept to his promises. I remember being dragged by my piggytail hair and thrown into a dark room, alone, separated from my sissy. He'd keep me in there until I learned my lesson and I could finally smile... And when he opened that door, it was like seeing daylight for the first time in moons, even if it had only just been three days.'Let's see you put on that beautiful smile, Maria. You don't want your sister to get punished because of you, would you? Smile, Maria! Come on, smile my little angel.'I can still hear his voice in my head, telling me to smile. And feeling the fear of being locked away in a dark room if I didn't smile... So, I tried to smile again. And smile again I would."
"Even when I made my best effort to smile, it was never good enough. It had to be more. Naughty girls deserved to be punished, you know that? Of course, it's the law of nature... He's our dad, we're his daughters. He owns us. We own nothing. He is right and we are wrong. And when daddy says something isn't good enough, then it isn't good enough. Papa made sure to let even others know when something wasn't good enough for him and he'd take actions according to his will. And papa's will and rules were law in life. In our household and anywhere we went.'Smile, Maria! Smile! Come on, let's see! That! Smile! Try again! Again. Again, until you get it right. How can I call you my sideshow if you can't even SMILE?!''Yes, daddy... I'll smile, just for you! I'll give you the best, brightest smile you've ever seen, look! Look at me! I am smiling, papa! Do you see it?'"
"...Not good enough. It was still not good enough! Stupid, stupid, stupid idiot me! Why can't I just get it right already?! No matter what I try... Why aren't my smiles good enough?! What am I doing wrong? What am I missing? I don't know...! I just don't know! I'm trying my best! Maybe... Maybe I just don't have what it takes to be a performer like sissy and papa...I'm not good enough... I'm useless. Worthless. A pig. A stupid cow. A bitch. A whore. A fucking slut who can't do anything right. I'm incompetent. I belong in the kitchen, making sandwiches at the Blue Carnival, not performing... I am not good enough...Daddy came back into the dark room after punishing me, 'clearly, you're not taking this seriously and I'm wasting my time with you, Maria. Pull your bloomers down, turn around and bend over. You need to be taught another godsdamned fucking lesson, until you get it through your thick skull!''...Yes, daddy. Sorry, papa... I'm sorry... I'm trying, I really am trying...'I did as he ordered me to. And out came that leather belt again. Striking me until I could feel my head spinning and going lightheaded from the pain. It hurt so much... The belt's metal buckle wounded me. Scratched me, made me bleed like the dog I was. It wasn't just my bum-bums anymore at this point. But, my backside, my ribs, my shoulders... I could feel every whip of that belt, leaving a hot, red mark on my flesh. It felt like I was bleeding, but I wasn't. It hurt so, so much... And before I knew it, I just... blacked out. And papa left me in the dark again to figure things out...And this time, I made sure to put in more effort. Go the extra malm. Just for you, papa... Because I love you, papa..."
"...You took me by surprise, papa. And I didn't realize that you were laughing. Laughing. Laughed when you saw me in a little makeup and bicolor hair, with a stupid big smile on my face. Just as you wanted. There? Was I good enough now, daddy?No. Of course not. It was never going to be that easy either. Papa left me and Ave behind, now. Left us behind to go to Eorzea. Yet, we couldn't help but magnetize back to him. We wanted to find him. Bring him back home with us. So we can show him how much we've learned. How much we've grown. To see our big, wide smiles on our faces! Happy smiles, just like he always wanted... And he was gone...You had to go and get yourself killed and leave us behind... And just when we finally figured it out... When we finally could give you what you wanted... We'd knew you'd be proud of us... You had to go and die on us in a strange land? Why, papa? Why? We love you so much... Please come back home to us... Please, watch us perform. Watch us smile, for you! Watch us smile and laugh, just as you always wanted...If you could see our smiles now... Hear our laughter. Would you be proud of us? Or would it not be good enough still? Maybe... maybe it wasn't good enough... One more time. Let's... give it our best shot. Just this one. Last. Time. For papa.Forget logic. Forget reason. Abandon all fear. Let our hearts be numb to fear and anxiety... So as we can SMILE and LAUGH! Just as you always wanted..."
"...At last. Perfection. Perfection. Just as you always wanted, daddy... Look at me now. Are you proud of me? I'm not the same little girl you used to know from before. I'm not the same Maria...I am not scared of anything or anyone. Everything is stupidly funny and makes me so happy now. I don't know what's up or down anymore... But, I don't care. I just don't care anymore. I'm gone. And now, I've been reborn into this. A fearless creature, filled with maddening joy and jamboree. Just as you always wanted.I'm not afraid of punishment and consequences anymore... I can do whatever I want now. Whenever I want and nobody is there to stop me... I am free. Free at last. Is this what feeling freedom feels like? Or am I a prisoner of my own madness and chaos now?I don't know... But, it feels good. Nothing bothers me anymore. I don't care about anything anymore. I'm not scared of anything or anyone anymore. Now, we're just laughing. Laughing. Laughing. Just as you did to me. I put the hurt in others, just as you did to me....Are you proud, papa? I'm a good girl now... I'm a happy girl. Time goes slowly, but carries on. And now the best cycles have come and gone... You took me by surprise, papa. And I didn't realize that you were laughing. Laughing! Like you were doing it to me! LAUGHING! Just as the way it should be...You took away everything I had and you put the hurt on me...I don't know if I should laugh or cry... I think I like laughing now. It's hard to tell when I'm dreaming and living. Maybe all of this is just a dream and I've yet to wake up from when you beat me so badly... Either way... I am LAUGHING!Laughing like when you laughed at me. I look into the eyes of others and laugh at them. As they look at me with eyes of fear, confusion, bemusement, make them feel stupefied. Some of them beg for their lives. Others accept it. Others try to run. They remind me of... how we used to be when you punished us. Is this what it feels like... to be in control? To have some power?I didn't realize that I was LAUGHING! Laughing! I took everything away from them and put the hurt on them..."
